Thankyou for clarifying your approach and I appreciate the suggestion. I have no doubt you are right when you talk about the mechanism of repressed memories, but for me there seems no indications. I would imagine that the first requirement to dig deeper is either an intention or at least a sense that something needs to done. I do not feel anything like this, so it means one of two things. Either I was abused but have no readiness to face it, or I was not abused at all.
My ability to separate myself from the incidents mentioned is not limited to just this. On most topics, whether intensely emotional or trivial I seem to be able to separate the feeling from the concept. When I was in early school, probably 8 or 9, I would make comments or ask questions that the other kids could not even imagine. It was nothing to do with intelligence, it was more to with perspective. The examples I recall were in astronomy or human behaviour. It was only as a teenager when I actively studied the subjects, that I realised I had registered some fundamentals without any obvious references. They were not difficult or controversial things, just things that had no apparent requirement for questioning. I grew up among a variety of cultures that had some very different standards of behaviours and habits, quite a few of which my peers or relatives found distasteful or wrong. I never seemed to have an issue with them, rather finding them interesting and different.
I mention these to show that for me an ability to examine something without somehow getting personal or disturbed is normal, and does make me think that I have no 'forgotten' memories.
I have read your posts about your own experiences, and as with so many of the past pupils I am appalled at how much people have been hurt. I have no place on a board like this, and no right to make comments that add to the pain.
You are quite correct when you state I am a critical observer and do not talk about my feelings. I have no issue with doing this but I cannot imagine what value it would add to anyone if I did.
On the other hand, most of my posts get me beaten up by people, and thats hardly value. People have asked to leave this board in the past, however with my time in the SES, I felt qualified, and was damned if I would. Perhaps as a non past-student of St James/Vedast I should be disqualified. Kindly don't all cheer at once and set up a voting panel for this.
Good luck with the inquiry, do not give up on it, I will be reading the progress. Daffy recently opened a thread looking to restore some harmony. I do not think this board is best served by the likes of me who disrupt it. It's been an education for me, I now look at the SES through different eyes, courtesy of the people on this board. My apologies to anyone who was hurt by anything I said.