Just discovered this! From ex pupil of Girls school
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:41 pm
Hello everyone,
I am extremely inexperienced with the internet and hope I am writing this in the right place.
I am a little confused how to work my way around this web site so I'll start writing and hope for the best.
I am so utterly relieved to find this and was very moved by everyone's stories.
I dont know where to begin- this is all very overwhelming
I went to St James girls school for 10years from 1981-91. As with so many others this was utter hell which still haunts me daily. There are so many stories to share but what is so amazing is to be in contact with people from that world. It was another world wasnt it...
The night before I went onto the internet looking for something to do with St James I burst into tears at a dinner party when a memory came flooding back for no apparent reason...
We were all 11 years old. Fooling around between class a group of girls had tried to pull up my skirt and by accident it had torn. My form teacher dicovered the tear and as a punishment made me stand infront of the class in my underwear. Having just entered puberty this was horridly humiliating. She then made all the other girls take off their dresses too. It was an age where you hadnt got your first bra yet but were no longer flat chested- I remember other's tears.. But most of all I remember the harrowing pleas of a new girl who had severe burns on her skin and had always been careful to never reveal them. She begged to not remove her dress but the teacher forced her too anyway. I was so disturbed by this but more disturbed bythe guilt of my feeling of relief that the attention was off me for a while. I had to sit in my underwear for ages whilst the others ( now clothed) stitched my dress. I remember Mr Skinner passing through the classroom and dying inside with the shame.
This is one of many incidents like this. There was a lot of violence in my experience in the Girls school as our form teacher was an incredibly vicious woman. She hauled people out of the shower and smacked them whilst naked. She tore the towel off an overweight girl infront of everyone, she stripped another girl 14 year old infront of everyone for having 'false modesty' ie not wanting to be noticed in the changing room.
From a young age she hit us with rulers til on one incident- til it broke. I was once dragged across the room , my hip bashing into the chairs and then shaken because I was looking at my bleeding finger in a 'Philosophy' class. I was 9 years old.
I wont go on now, i feel like its just pouring out with relief. I am afraid that i want to stay anonymous as firstly I still feel humiliated by some of these experiences and secondly my family know nothing of this and it would be too devastating.
I still suffer from panic attacks and severe depression, in some ways I feel it all happened yesterday and have felt ashamed for not getting over it quicker but I feel with this communication i can begin a genuine healing process.
What's with the inquiry? Is it for the Girls scool aswell? Is there a desire to join forces to organise a public legal enquiry? Has this all been discussed? I dont nderstand how this all works can someone explain it to me?
Whoever set this up- thank you and well done!
I will respond to other people's postings soon.
Thanks,
T.S
I am extremely inexperienced with the internet and hope I am writing this in the right place.
I am a little confused how to work my way around this web site so I'll start writing and hope for the best.
I am so utterly relieved to find this and was very moved by everyone's stories.
I dont know where to begin- this is all very overwhelming
I went to St James girls school for 10years from 1981-91. As with so many others this was utter hell which still haunts me daily. There are so many stories to share but what is so amazing is to be in contact with people from that world. It was another world wasnt it...
The night before I went onto the internet looking for something to do with St James I burst into tears at a dinner party when a memory came flooding back for no apparent reason...
We were all 11 years old. Fooling around between class a group of girls had tried to pull up my skirt and by accident it had torn. My form teacher dicovered the tear and as a punishment made me stand infront of the class in my underwear. Having just entered puberty this was horridly humiliating. She then made all the other girls take off their dresses too. It was an age where you hadnt got your first bra yet but were no longer flat chested- I remember other's tears.. But most of all I remember the harrowing pleas of a new girl who had severe burns on her skin and had always been careful to never reveal them. She begged to not remove her dress but the teacher forced her too anyway. I was so disturbed by this but more disturbed bythe guilt of my feeling of relief that the attention was off me for a while. I had to sit in my underwear for ages whilst the others ( now clothed) stitched my dress. I remember Mr Skinner passing through the classroom and dying inside with the shame.
This is one of many incidents like this. There was a lot of violence in my experience in the Girls school as our form teacher was an incredibly vicious woman. She hauled people out of the shower and smacked them whilst naked. She tore the towel off an overweight girl infront of everyone, she stripped another girl 14 year old infront of everyone for having 'false modesty' ie not wanting to be noticed in the changing room.
From a young age she hit us with rulers til on one incident- til it broke. I was once dragged across the room , my hip bashing into the chairs and then shaken because I was looking at my bleeding finger in a 'Philosophy' class. I was 9 years old.
I wont go on now, i feel like its just pouring out with relief. I am afraid that i want to stay anonymous as firstly I still feel humiliated by some of these experiences and secondly my family know nothing of this and it would be too devastating.
I still suffer from panic attacks and severe depression, in some ways I feel it all happened yesterday and have felt ashamed for not getting over it quicker but I feel with this communication i can begin a genuine healing process.
What's with the inquiry? Is it for the Girls scool aswell? Is there a desire to join forces to organise a public legal enquiry? Has this all been discussed? I dont nderstand how this all works can someone explain it to me?
Whoever set this up- thank you and well done!
I will respond to other people's postings soon.
Thanks,
T.S