SES SCHOOLS ACTION: INQUIRY UPDATE

[a different guest]

just from reading the info about the CURRENT girls school and its curriculum has led me to beleive that what went on in the girls school was more subtle yet more insidious.

The girls school sounds bad to me NOW! how much worse was it back then???

[adrasteia]

Actually, the last I heard Emily Watson was still in Ses, although she did spilt from it while she was in the film 'Breaking the Waves'. Her tutor was adverse to her parcipation in it. She did refer to the incident a couple of years ago as 'water under the bridge', so it seems not to have made any permanent impression.

[Alban]

Hi, grimep

...If SES parents are so confident of their lifestyles, beliefs, etc, then they should leave it to their children to decide whether they want to join, AFTER they have left school.

I agree in principle, but unfortunately it is still not a level playing field. If a child has both teacher and parents tell them that it's a good thing throughout their school life, then a great deal of them are going to believe it even when they've left school. Bear in mind that most children vote the same way as their parents at their first election.

It takes a very long time to rid oneself of the crap that is talked, and as I mentioned in a previous post, some of it goes way down deep so that you don't realise that you are subconsciously basing a number of decisions on it.

The sad fact is, that if the parents believe it and they send you to a school that drums it into you, then you have little chance of freeing yourself from it for a very long time. Look at all the guilt that is still carried around by kids that were brought up within a very strict catholic regime 30 years ago (especially the girls for some reason).

[Peter Sanders Reynolds]

Totally agree with the previous two posts and IT IS THE GIRLS SCHOOL AND IT'S EDUCATION that is by far the BIGGEST CRIME. IT'S ABHORENT.
LETS GET THOSE EX GIRLS ON THIS SITE. (HARRIET YOU MUST HAVE PLENTY OF CONTACTS/LEADS)

regards

PSR

[Peter Sanders Reynolds]

Sorry my last comment was to Harriet and 'grimp' (?)

Sanders Reynolds

[Alban]

Hi Harriet

The girls school should be under investigation, there was not so much physical abuse as the boys obviously received but we were all led to believe we were prostitutes, there for men's pleasure, not our own and to serve and obey them. Our free thought was taken from us and we were discouraged to have any ambition....

This is indeed a common theme. Sadly enough, this obviously went way beyond being just taught as the numerous marriages between "school" girls and senior members of the SES goes to show. As if it isn't bad enough that they've screwed up your childhood, they want to screw up the rest of your life as well!

...More of us girls need to come forward with our true feelings about the school, its insestousness, all the families affected by love affairs amongst SES members that were invisible, and the teaching staff who had no idea how to teach girls, give advice on the birds and the bees and who quashed any talent that peered out of our very souls.

Yes, they do.

Anyone who's done it will know that it is extremely hard posting for the first time and "baring" yourself to the world. All I can say is that there are a lot of friendly people out here who will not try to rubbish your experiences to "save" the current schools (or the people that teach in them).

[grimep]

yes Alban, I think that's true... my main point was really just that I think the SES stuff should be removed from the curriculum. When I was at the school the material and exercises were very close to part 1 of the "Philosophy" course. You are absolutely right that it affects you at a low level and influences your decisions and thought processes no matter how hard you try and fight it. Young minds are very recptive and "programmable", and kids often tend to trust what adults are telling them.

I think one thing that would be useful would be more documenting of what the actual "teachings" and "beliefs" are. No doubt many people who found it all very distasteful have managed to forget the details, so those with lucid memories of what was actual said should be encouraged to write.

Thinking on, I guess it's pretty naieve of me to hope for such an outcome, given that 5 minutes (which was all I could take) spent on http://www.stjamesschools.co.uk gives no clue whatsoever that pupils will be gradually indoctrinated with SES beliefs based around eastern mysticism, possibly leading into a Youth group. Like the old blue Philosophy posters on underground stations, the "Truth" is hidden away.

I find it strange that I don't see many current students posting their feelings or observations on here.. seems a few did a while ago... are they all under pain of death not to participate here? Or are they all happy? Who knows?!

[grimep]

Anyone who's done it will know that it is extremely hard posting for the first time and "baring" yourself to the world.

One thing that protects those that abuse is the very strong desire in the abused to bury the past and forget it. I'm still in touch with one schoolfriend and I never mention school days as doing so will precede a 2 hour venomous rant followed by 2 days of darkness.

Having to retell your worst experiences in public (even with the relative anonymity that the internet affords) dredges up a lot that you'd probably rather was left buried. The first time I found this site I had some pretty disturbed dreams the following nights.

What would make me happy would be knowing that future students won't have to deal with the same crap.

[Coralie]

Hi Harriet,

I was glad to see your name here. I have flicked down through these postings and when I read that the girls were not included in the inquiry, I couldn't help the tears and the old feelings coming back.

Our Stories are just as important and I believe shocking. Whenever I think that I have sorted things out in my mind, something like that news will set me back again.

I remember you. I hope that you are enjoying life. I often think about your family and Emma.

Take care

[Sarah M]

Coralie,

I'm really moved by your posting, and I agree our experiences are just as important. It looks like the inquiry is a total sham anyway and I'd be very surprised if any former pupils with genuine complaints will be taking part in it in it's current form.

Don't give up, there are many alternative paths to justice open to us.

All the best,
Sarah

[adrasteia]

the old blue Philosophy posters on underground stations, the "Truth" is hidden away.

Have you seen the new philosophy posters? There's one at Earls Court Station. They're very easy going with clip art style pictures!
I saw the poster but there was a train covering the bottom bit- I started reading, surprised at the existance of another philosophy group, but getting near the bottom some of the phrases seemed to sound familiar...
then lo and behold, when the train moved away there was the SES logo!

[Coralie]

Sarah,

Hello. Thank you for that. I have always struggled to be heard.

Reading these forums, at least, shows me that I was not alone. It is great to see familiar names. It is also great to hear the boys talk so strongly on our behalf.

Thank you again,
Coralie

[Vian]

Hi, my name is Vian. I used to attend St James' school for girls no less than 8 years ago...........can i first say: I think it is fantastic that the way children are treated in SES is finally being brought to light and i really thought it was just me and my friends being paranoid. I never thought this would ever happen.

But.....and i do hate to sound ungrateful......isn't it a little selfish to restrict the inquiry to such a short period of time? What about the girls and boys who are suffering now? I read all the posts and recognise so many of the names of teachers who were still there when i attended and who may well still be teaching. Is an apology enough to protect the rest of the students still under their tyranny?

I had epileptic fits partially brought on due to stress from bullying at school from students but mostly from teachers. Because i refused to be brainwashed i was picked on every day for 3 years until i finally escaped. I know this doesn't seem long but it is a very very long time to a 10 year old girl. I became a very confused child and depressed. I tried to run away from home and even tried to O.D. at 11.

The biggest complaint i have however is similar to that of Clara's.....although nowhere near as severe (and Clara i really admire your strength for living through this and being strong enough to share your experiences)......The year after i joined St. James Ms Caldwell retired and Ms Hyde became headmistress. I told my mother about being touched and rubbed inappropriately by a male teacher.......needless to say she was upset and went to complain to Ms Hyde. I was summoned from lunch to see Ms Hyde and had to wait 15 minutes, presumably for her to finish speaking to my mother or possibly Mr A (although i doubt she actually even asked him about the incident).
Anyway.....long story short........she called me in and told me what happened to girls who lie.....that Mr A was a very good man and basically proceeded to shout at me for 20 minutes and call me a liar. I refused to budge so she said she would ask my classmates. I was happy with this arrangement as all the girls had said to me they would support me as they thought Mr A was a pervert too (he walked around the changing room hallways as we went to have our compulsory communal showers wearing only towels and so on...) and so i left her office. A while later (i can't recall if it was days or hours now) she came to our class during a lesson and asked everyone if they witnessed anything or if they supported me to raise their hand.......not a single girl did......not even my best friend, i am sad to say, who was being bullied there too.

I don't know if she was around at the time this inquiry encompasses but another person who made my time at St. James almost unbearable was Mrs. Moss. I would love to have an apology from her as well as Mr. A and Ms. Hyde.....although i dont really see that happening.
I'm glad people are able to share these experiences and find a place to vent their anger and sorrow for what happened. Although i don't believe this can make up for the damage done and the children hurt by them.

Sorry to sound so morbid and especially sorry for rambling on for so long....hope you're still with me.........and i hope this inquiry goes well....i hope justice is done.

~Vian
----x----

[sparks]

I think it is fantastic that the way children are treated in SES is finally being brought to light .

I agree, its time everything came out in the open. Who are these people, so sure in their own rightness that they destroy childhoods and call it love, that they cover up abuse and call it truth?

and i really thought it was just me and my friends being paranoid..

You're not the only one - again and again I've heard former pupils say the same thing. They left/escaped SES Boy's or Girl's school, ran and never wanted to look back. I for one avoided seeing or associating with anyone I went to school with until I stumbled across this forum and realised that I wasn't alone. Nor are you!

....isn't it a little selfish to restrict the inquiry to such a short period of time? What about the girls and boys who are suffering now? I read all the posts and recognise so many of the names of teachers who were still there when i attended and who may well still be teaching. Is an apology enough to protect the rest of the students still under their tyranny?

NO ITS NOT ENOUGH ...but its a start....

I told my mother about being touched and rubbed inappropriately by (name removed) .......

I assume you are aware that what you are alleging is a serious criminal offence. There is no time limitation on criminal prosecutions. There are many cases of abusers who were active in the 70s and 80s who are only now being prosecuted.

.....she called me in and told me what happened to girls who lie.....that (name removed) was a very good man and basically proceeded to shout at me for 20 minutes and call me a liar.

Par for the course for SES teachers .....and an inexcusable way to deal with such an allegation.

....she came to our class during a lesson and asked everyone if they witnessed anything or if they supported me to raise their hand.......not a single girl did......not even my best friend

Thats the way they worked, they set child against child, they bullied and ultimately we were all powerless.

....I'm glad people are able to share these experiences and find a place to vent their anger and sorrow for what happened. Although i don't believe this can make up for the damage done and the children hurt by them.

NOTHING can excuse or make up for it. But what would help is for them finally to admit that these terrible things did happen. Then at least it would be out in the open and we would have an acknowledgment of what we suffered. As to apologies and anything else....a small number of teachers have, to their great credit, apologised. For the rest and for SES, the institution that is responsible for all the suffering, - I doubt they will apologise without a law suit and even then it wouldnt be a sincere.

We were only children.



Vian, please would you send a PM to me. I am very disturbed by aspects of your posting and would like to speak further away from this board.

[Vian]

Thanks for the support....wasn't sure how that would be received.....

True parts of it were disturbing and i am sorry it was such a shocking first post.....probably should've eased in a bit first.....

I regretted mentioning the teacher's name as soon as i posted it....i know how serious it is and i don't want to bring that all up again....i had a lot of anger at the time and i want to forget about it........i also am doing the typical thing of worrying if it might've been my fault or if i misinterpreted it....I know what happened was true at the time and did effect me but i dont want to ruin the man's life if he did not mean what he did in that way......(now im sounding like a liar.... :-S ......i don't want to hurt anyone unintentionally.I'm not that bitter or that much of a bitch)

Does any of this make sense? It's annoying to have to think about all this again but good in a way i guess. It's also good to talk.

~Vian