A progress report?

Discussion of the children's schools in the UK.
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a different guest
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A progress report?

Postby a different guest » Tue Sep 14, 2004 11:48 am

From reading these boards various past victims of St James are in negotioations with the school re an acknowledgment and apology.

How have these discussions gone?

If it does not detract from your negotiations - I am sure many here would be interested to read of your progress.

Matthew
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A progress report?

Postby Matthew » Wed Sep 22, 2004 1:43 pm

Thanks for your interest 'a different guest'. I'm sure you will appreciate that unfortunately posting a progress report here would in fact compromise and detract from our talks with the school due to their delicate and confidential nature. These boards are also monitored by SES hierarchy, and I suspect, anonymously contributed to.

Hopefully in the fullness of time something can be publicised on here to summarise the final outcome of it all. Speaking personally, I would wish to see that happen. In the mean time just to correct you on one point, the talks involve past victims of St Vedast as well as St James.

gadflysdreams
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some cannot speak

Postby gadflysdreams » Tue Sep 28, 2004 4:43 am

some arn't ready to give testimonials on this site - particularly since the ses heirarchy are obviously onto it! the extent of messing up this organization does is far reaching. There are some who went through st.vedast and st.james in those days who are only now beginning to make normal contact with their parents. for some, up till now, their parents were to blame, for sending them to that school!

Matthew
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Location: London

Re: some cannot speak

Postby Matthew » Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:03 pm

gadflysdreams wrote:some arn't ready to give testimonials on this site - particularly since the ses heirarchy are obviously onto it!

Even if it meant being protected by an anonymous handle? And if the SES are monitoring this, is that not all the more reason for survivors to come forward with their stories? Of course I appreciate it's not an easy thing to do, but hopefully it's been made easier by those that have already testified. Moreover, the more accounts that are forthcoming, the more irrefutable the evidence becomes. For the sake of truth and justice, if for no other reason, I would therefore strongly encourage anybody thinking about contributing their story to take that brave step of doing so. It's essential the SES is soaked in the overwhelming evidence of brutality and suffering inflicted at St James and St Vedast.

gadflysdreams wrote:There are some who went through st.vedast and st.james in those days who are only now beginning to make normal contact with their parents. for some, up till now, their parents were to blame, for sending them to that school!

I entirely take this point on board. I have had to overcome exactly the same challenge with my own parents.

gadflysdreams
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parents

Postby gadflysdreams » Sat Oct 02, 2004 10:09 pm

Dear Matthew, I take your point that you had the challenge of confronting your parents etc. But your folks have got themselves out of ses and are therefore no longer indoctrinated with the need to defend those atrocities of brutality at st.vedast and st.james because they are not members anymore of the actual government of those schools-viz. ses. Consider what it might be like for those whose parents are still knee-deep in ses. It is natural to love your parents and to want to be friends with them in your adult life. Maybe the likes of these past pupils would rather remain silent.

Alban
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Postby Alban » Wed Oct 06, 2004 8:01 pm

Indeed Gad, it is a difficult call. None of us want to alienate our parents, and neither do we want to appear ungrateful for all the time, effort and not inconsiderable cost they have spent bringing us up. However, as a parent, I always want to know what has made my children unhappy. There is always the possibility that what has made them unhappy is of their own doing, or is caused by jealousy or any number of other things outside my control. On the other hand, if they are unhappy as a result of my actions or bad descisions, then I must accept that I may be to blame.

No parent wants to see their children unhappy, and every parent I know would far rather face a monumental difference of opinion than not really understand their offsprings' true feelings. I believe that you must give them chance to understand where you are coming from, rather than have them carry on believing that everything's hunky dory. Besides which, I would guess a lot of parents didn't know about half of the crap that went on in that place - mine were genuinely shocked when I told them.

It may be that you will never see eye-to-eye with them on these issues, but if you talk to them about it, at least you have tried, and once it is out in the open, then at the very least you both know not to broach the subject over Sunday Lunch.

It is a difficult transition from thinking of your parents as all-knowing, far-shining paragons of virtue to thinking of them as just another couple who have made mistakes just like the rest of us, but that is what they are. This is all too obvious when you have children and realise that it's hard not to make mistakes every single day of their lives - we all do our best and very few claim to have no regrets.

All this is of course, easier said than done, and a number of us have obviously gone through that particular pain-barrier with varying results. But having said that, I personally am much happier now the record has been set straight even though it took a lot of time and effort to get there.

I sincerely hope that you manage to level with them. It certainly takes courage and patience to do so, but in the long run it has to be worth it for your own sanity.


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