Sex before Marriage

Discussion of the SES, particularly in the UK.
the annoyed

Postby the annoyed » Tue Mar 16, 2004 9:54 pm

MArriage is meant to be the important bit of this thread... and u all rave on about sex! Cannot you not see the words "marriage" on the title?.. or am I imagining things?

I don't want to have sex before my marriage because I do not want to go into a relationship with a man who I will be speanding the rest of my life with, having all the 'baggage' of my pervious partners! Yes, baggage is an unwanted term.. but it is true, it is all BAGGAGE!

Infact what is the point of dating someone whom you have no desire to marry? What is the point of having sex if you don't want a child, or if you wouldn't be able to cope with a child? What is the point of one night stands?

...in my view temporary pleasure is pointless, and so that cannot be a point for me!

Tom Grubb
Posts: 380
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2004 10:23 pm
Location: London

Postby Tom Grubb » Tue Mar 16, 2004 10:05 pm

Misty wrote:
I really do hate scarcasm, I see no point for it, except trying to humiliate the person on the other side. Perhaps it's your personal way of trying to get a point across, however does it hurt to point your views out straight away?


I'd prefer to call it irony, and I consider it a valid and useful debating tool. Its purpose here was to highlight how your sweeping generalisations (about what "every girl" thinks and how sex is "obviously" "absolutely important" to teenage girls, etc.) simply don't match what some women have told me about this matter. It seems obvious to me that, unless these women who take a very different view from your own have been lying to me (which I very much doubt) then your assertions must simply be wrong.

However, I assure you that my intention is not to humiliate you or anyone else in this forum. I believe in robust debate but I also believe in fair play.

Misty wrote:
I did not mention anything on the terms lesbian or gay relationships, for I have only been able to accept it as something that happens in this world. However just because I have accepted it, doesn't mean I understand it. I don't understand gay and lesbian relatioships.

Fine! I am aware that you didn't mention anything about lesbian and gay relationships but you did say this: "The first person you have sex with will leave in imprint on your heart, it is better if you were married to that person, as you will always have them on your 'heart'." Now, many people's first sexual partner will be someone of their own sex. Surely, as you believe that "it is better if you were married to that person" then you also believe in gay and lesbian marriage?

You don't understand gay and lesbian relationships? What's not to understand? It's what some individuals prefer. Some people prefer very different types of food, drink or music to others. You may not share their tastes but surely you can understand them.

Misty

Postby Misty » Tue Mar 16, 2004 11:12 pm

Tom Grubb wrote:You don't understand gay and lesbian relationships? What's not to understand? It's what some individuals prefer. Some people prefer very different types of food, drink or music to others. You may not share their tastes but surely you can understand them.


I have heard many people say gay relationships is wrong. Others also they are not wrong. However what makes us decide what is right and wrong?

This is a topic which I am absolutey confused and puzzled about. I just do not understand.

I dont understand how some like wearing hot pink, I don't understand how some people can sit all day chewing gum, I don't understand how people can have a sexual attraction to their own sex, just like I dont understand why people smoke. What I do understand is that we have different tasts, but that doesnt mean I understand why they do what they do? How on earth can they like what they like? Perhaps I understand their love, just not their love for the type.

The most important thing is that I accept these people, I dont judge upon what they like, bu for who they are, surely that is more important?

a different guest

Postby a different guest » Wed Mar 17, 2004 12:43 am

the annoyed wrote: with, having all the 'baggage' of my pervious partners!


You call experience (and I am not referring to merely sexual experience) baggage? In that case keep yourself in a locked room and just emerge when you life partner comes along.

and Misty - I was making the same point that Tom was. That was obvious by my post - but I guess its just one of the myriad things you "don't understand".


[quote error fixed - mike]

mgormez
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Postby mgormez » Wed Mar 17, 2004 1:59 am

Misty wrote:The most important thing is that I accept these people, I dont judge upon what they like, bu for who they are, surely that is more important?


Somehow this leaves a sour taste. It's like saying, "I accept that you are black, and I don't judge your color -- but son, you sit in the back of the bus".

I am over emphasizing here, sure, but can you see a bit of where this leads, Misty? You accept they are the way they are but they are not our equals.
Mike Gormez

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed Mar 17, 2004 9:33 pm

mgormez wrote:
Misty wrote:The most important thing is that I accept these people, I dont judge upon what they like, bu for who they are, surely that is more important?


Somehow this leaves a sour taste. It's like saying, "I accept that you are black, and I don't judge your color -- but son, you sit in the back of the bus".

I am over emphasizing here, sure, but can you see a bit of where this leads, Misty? You accept they are the way they are but they are not our equals.


You are wrong, mike gormez. If I dont understand them doesnt mean I don't think they are equal. I may not even understand you that doesnt mean I cast you away as if you were below me...or even above me.

In this world or so to say country there is a great right. This right being freedom. People fairly have a right to act how they please (ofcourse regulating within the laws of the country), reight to speak, right to be. However of there is a diffwerent voice, perhaps it may be old-fashioned, or religious, they are ridiculed, laughed at, or cast to the side. If there is such a great right to freedom, why aren't we free to think what we like without being thrown accusations, like you did just then and there. I donlt understand gay/lesbian relationships, and I try and ignore it is discussions because of the little I know about them.

However, why is there two different forms of human being on this earth? Two forms being man and woman? why?

Misty

Postby Misty » Wed Mar 17, 2004 9:34 pm

^ sorry that was me Misty

the annoyed

Postby the annoyed » Wed Mar 17, 2004 9:44 pm

a different guest wrote:
the annoyed wrote: with, having all the 'baggage' of my pervious partners!


You call experience (and I am not referring to merely sexual experience) baggage? In that case keep yourself in a locked room and just emerge when you life partner comes along.



Who are you to tell me what to do??? Telling me to keep myself locked in...pleeaseeee.... you can go out and enjoy yourself, and still not sleep with anyone! YES I call past sexual relationships 'baggage'... or in ur case it maybe be an experience, in MY case (let me repeat myself-MY.. see those words MY) I call it a pointless experience!

:bad-words:

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed Mar 17, 2004 11:03 pm

mgormez wrote:
Misty wrote:The most important thing is that I accept these people, I dont judge upon what they like, bu for who they are, surely that is more important?


Somehow this leaves a sour taste. It's like saying, "I accept that you are black, and I don't judge your color -- but son, you sit in the back of the bus".

I am over emphasizing here, sure, but can you see a bit of where this leads, Misty? You accept they are the way they are but they are not our equals.


MIKE.... u don't have to understand what people do in order to accept them. For instance, religion is one of the main things that separates people into groups. Each religion knows what the other religion does, and yet doesn't understand why exaclty they do what they do, or why they belive in what they do... however some keep their differences well apart in order for everyone to get along. In many cases, peopel find that the differences are minor compared to the similarities. I asume Misty means this??????

mgormez
Posts: 501
Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2003 9:33 pm
Location: Amsterdam
Contact:

Postby mgormez » Wed Mar 17, 2004 11:14 pm

Misty wrote:
mgormez wrote:
Misty wrote:The most important thing is that I accept these people, I dont judge upon what they like, bu for who they are, surely that is more important?


Somehow this leaves a sour taste. It's like saying, "I accept that you are black, and I don't judge your color -- but son, you sit in the back of the bus".

I am over emphasizing here, sure, but can you see a bit of where this leads, Misty? You accept they are the way they are but they are not our equals.


You are wrong, mike gormez. If I dont understand them doesnt mean I don't think they are equal. I may not even understand you that doesnt mean I cast you away as if you were below me...or even above me.


Did you read back what you wrote above?

I dont judge upon what they like, bu[t] for who they are


That's a phrase that caused me to raise an eyebrow. Do you see them formost as humans or gays?

I see them as fellow humans.

Misty wrote:In this world or so to say country there is a great right. This right being freedom. People fairly have a right to act how they please (ofcourse regulating within the laws of the country), reight to speak, right to be. However of there is a diffwerent voice, perhaps it may be old-fashioned, or religious, they are ridiculed, laughed at, or cast to the side. If there is such a great right to freedom, why aren't we free to think what we like without being thrown accusations, like you did just then and there. I donlt understand gay/lesbian relationships, and I try and ignore it is discussions because of the little I know about them.


Here you are either super sensitive or being sophistic. I told you how your view gave me a sour taste and why. That hardly counts as throwing accusations, now, does it?

Regardless, rest assured I am not trying to get at you.


Misty wrote:However, why is there two different forms of human being on this earth? Two forms being man and woman? why?


Reproduction (Occam's Razor)? Because I love women so much? :Fade-color

Now I think if it, I know of at least 1 homosexual bull. It was a genetically altered bull and would have never been allowed to live outside and reproduce in the wild. That animal did it with another bull in the barn.
Mike Gormez

Misty

Postby Misty » Wed Mar 17, 2004 11:24 pm

I think that eyebrow should return back to it's normal position, as I think u have got me wrong.

Let me make my final atempt to get my point across to exaclty how I feel. I've never been very good at english, as I have never been able to translate my exact thought into words on paper.

What I mean to say is that by not being able to understand Gay people I do not turn my back on them for that reason as others do. If someone is totally against a gay relationship, most would look upon them disgustedly. As you do, I too look upon them as humans, and that was my point.

mgormez
Posts: 501
Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2003 9:33 pm
Location: Amsterdam
Contact:

Postby mgormez » Thu Mar 18, 2004 7:10 am

Okay, so it was a matter of misunderstanding/miscommunication.

Does happen to the best.
Mike Gormez

a different guest

Postby a different guest » Thu Mar 18, 2004 9:49 am

the annoyed wrote:YES I call past sexual relationships 'baggage'... or in ur case it maybe be an experience, in MY case (let me repeat myself-MY.. see those words MY) I call it a pointless experience!

:bad-words:


Have you tried therapy? :angel:

the annoyed

Postby the annoyed » Thu Mar 18, 2004 8:38 pm

a different guest wrote:
the annoyed wrote:YES I call past sexual relationships 'baggage'... or in ur case it maybe be an experience, in MY case (let me repeat myself-MY.. see those words MY) I call it a pointless experience!

:bad-words:


Have you tried therapy? :angel:


Have you tried controlling your dioreah of irrational comments spitting out of those fingers? :evil:

Guest

Postby Guest » Thu Mar 18, 2004 8:46 pm

What I said earlier was what I think, and that is how I shall live my life. I did not ask for your comments (a different guest), however as this is a message board, I was naturally expecting them. Nonetheless an insult to get therapy is an awful thing to say. Have you wandered it is also quite pointless to say that, how on earth would insulting me help me, if you think I need help? Perhaps you're trying to make me angry, just because I my trail of throughts disagree with yours, how immature! Atleast the SES do not judge you by what you say or feel. However with you, everyone who does not agree with YOUR views or YOUR way of life needs help! The SES seem more realistic than you!


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