Search found 16 matches

by pablo
Fri Nov 07, 2008 8:12 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

Thank you both, Tom & ET, for your kindness. Again, it means a lot to me. Yes indeed that 13 year old boy needed a hug and I've wished I could go back and give him the love and strength to get through those times. Over time I have learned to trust my instinctive reactions as an emotional baromet...
by pablo
Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:14 am
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

With that visit to the GP came a chink of light and I am so grateful to her for noticing in a short consultation what my parents 'didn't notice' over 8 years. (I have a lot of suppressed anger toward my parents for the betrayal. This is mixed with so much love. Especially in the case of my dad, who ...
by pablo
Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:41 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

To my classmates, in case you've worked out who I am, sorry for the last year I was there. I must have been a pain in the arse. Our friendship bonds and alliances in the classroom really kept us from going spare. My best friend left the school abruptly when we were 13. I was distraught. Over the yea...
by pablo
Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:12 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure (A couple of apologies)

To my sister, let's call her Sparkle, I want to say sorry here. I know I don't need to because we get on so well these days and have done a lot of reconciling, but in light of all that's coming out here for all of us I want to say it here, publicly too. I was a bully at home, I'm sure. As a child be...
by pablo
Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:57 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

Hi Daffy, I kinda held onto that diary because I knew it was evidence. I think I knew it was evidence as I wrote it, hence making it clear that Debenham was the head and using the real names of teachers with only their nicknames in brackets. But these are the only two real entries. Sorry. There are ...
by pablo
Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:50 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

Actually I want to say a few words about my form teacher, Desmond Mottram. He arrived at the school at young man, probably the hippest one there with his trendy 1970s beard and flared suit trousers. He had a good sense of humour and was a blessed relief. (Also had a strange habit of not so much drin...
by pablo
Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:15 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure (More documentary evidence)

Monday, 28th February 1983 (aged 13): Went to school, felt ill. Forgot that I left my Blazer in the white cupboard. Had register. Went to assemblyin St Peter's Church with only Jumper. Froze. Came back and found blazer. Put it on for meditation. Mottram (Grizzle) told me to take it off. I asked to ...
by pablo
Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:48 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure (Documentary evidence)

If anyone was keen on actual documentary evidence, here it is. 2 or 3 years ago my dad had a massive clearout of his garage. In there was a large box of schoolbooks. Up until about a year ago I had almost all my old schoolbooks and all my report cards. I did some letting-go in stages. I realised tha...
by pablo
Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:06 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

As I was recalling the singing lessons yesterday, my memory of the events jolted. At first I remembered the event more as a scene, seeing children lined up. I haven't thought about Mrs Hare for more than a decade, maybe two. Bits of memory jumped into place: oh yes we had to take off one of our shoe...
by pablo
Wed Nov 05, 2008 7:08 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure (Mrs Hare's terrifying singing lessons)

(Thanks, Bonsai. This is helping me. If it helps others too, all the better.) Just read Sarah M's posts on page 20 of the "EXPERIENCES". I penned a response here about the emotional numbness thing, but it's just a bit too much disclosure so I've filed that away for the time being. (Someone...
by pablo
Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:00 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

So far I've not really disclosed specific details of my experience at the school. This has surprised me and I will probably do so before I leave, but I find that I have less of a need to 'get it off my chest' than I expected. Instead I am drawn to look at the impact of my time at St James school on ...
by pablo
Mon Nov 03, 2008 6:01 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

Thanks Bonsai and ET. I didn't think your comments would matter, but they do, and I appreciate them. :-)
by pablo
Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:11 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

At some point I do want to talk about some of the darker moments at St James, if only to have them documented. What I want to say now is about the physical, mental and emotional abuse. Yes I was punched by Colin Russell. Yes I was caned by Nicholas Debenham. Yes I was slippered by Felicity Debenham ...
by pablo
Sun Nov 02, 2008 2:20 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

So now, some memories. I actually remember being interviewed for St James by Nicholas Debenham, aged 5. At the time I was at the comprehensive primary school across the road from my house. I didn't know who this man was, why me and my dad were with him or why he was asking me questions. He asked me ...
by pablo
Sun Nov 02, 2008 1:54 pm
Forum: St James and St Vedast
Topic: Closure
Replies: 25
Views: 41023

Re: Closure

(Thanks, Matthew.) Having got on and lived my life after St James for the last 25 years, having put the past behind me, I find myself turning round and putting the past directly squarely in front of me. Why would I do that? In truth, I think I've always known that one day I'd probably have to face t...

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